How to Give a Hickey: A Step-by-Step Guide to Doing It Right

Hickeys — also known as love bites or kiss marks — have been a part of intimate expression for decades. They can be playful, spontaneous, or deeply passionate. Yet, many people are curious about how to give a hickey safely and how to manage its appearance afterward. This guide walks you through the process, from understanding what a hickey is to practical tips for creating one without discomfort or unwanted marks that linger too long.

What Is a Hickey?

A hickey is a small bruise that forms when suction breaks tiny blood vessels beneath the skin. The leaked blood becomes trapped, creating a red or purple mark that may fade into yellow tones over time.

While it’s commonly associated with affection, it’s still a bruise — meaning it involves minor damage under the surface of the skin. Understanding that is key to giving one gently and responsibly.

How to Give a Hickey: Step-by-Step

Giving a hickey might seem simple, but doing it right requires awareness, consent, and a bit of technique. Here’s how to do it safely:

1. Ask for Consent First

Before anything else, make sure your partner is comfortable with receiving a hickey. Not everyone wants a visible mark, especially on areas like the neck.

2. Choose the Right Spot

The neck is the most popular area, but shoulders, the collarbone, or even inner arms are good alternatives if you want to keep things discreet. Avoid areas with sensitive or thin skin.

3. Start with Gentle Kissing

Begin by kissing the area softly to warm up the skin and increase blood flow. The goal is to create a relaxed, intimate moment — not to rush.

4. Form a Seal and Apply Suction

Shape your lips into a small “O” and press them gently against the skin. Apply consistent suction for around 20–30 seconds. Avoid using teeth; the suction alone is enough. If your partner feels pain, stop immediately.

5. Release and Check the Mark

After releasing, you should see a light red mark that darkens over the next few hours. Don’t overdo it — the longer the suction, the deeper and longer-lasting the bruise.

Pro Tip: Start softly and check in with your partner — a gentle mark is often the most enjoyable for both.

How Long Do Hickeys Last?

On average, a hickey lasts between 5 and 12 days, depending on:

• The amount of suction used

• The person’s natural healing rate

• Where it’s located on the body

As the mark heals, it changes colour — from red or purple to blue, then green or yellow before fading completely. You can help speed up this process with a few simple remedies.

How to Make a Hickey Fade Faster

While there’s no magic cure, these home remedies can help your skin recover more quickly:

• Cold Compress (First 24 Hours): Reduces blood flow and minimises swelling.

• Warm Compress (After 48 Hours): Promotes circulation to help clear trapped blood.

• Gentle Massage: Improves blood flow if done carefully.

• Vitamin K or Arnica Cream: These can help your body absorb the bruise faster.

Stay hydrated and avoid re-injuring the same spot — that only prolongs healing.

How to Hide a Hickey

Sometimes discretion matters. If you need to cover a hickey for work or social reasons, try these:

• Apply colour-correcting concealer (green tones work well on red marks).

• Use foundation and setting powder for all-day coverage.

• Choose high-neck clothing or scarves if the mark is still visible.

• Men can use collared shirts or hoodies for quick cover-ups.

Quick Tip: A little makeup goes a long way, but scarves and collars are your best friends if you’re in a rush.

FAQs

1. How do hickeys form?

They form when suction from kissing breaks small capillaries under the skin, causing minor bruising.

2. Can a hickey disappear overnight?

Unfortunately, no — it’s a bruise and needs time to heal. Cold or warm compresses may reduce visibility slightly, but overnight removal isn’t realistic.

3. Are hickeys harmful?

Usually not, if done gently. Excessive suction can cause soreness or minor swelling, so always pay attention to your partner’s comfort.

4. What helps a hickey heal faster?

Cold compresses immediately after it forms, warm compresses after the first day or two, gentle massage, and creams with arnica or vitamin K can help speed recovery.

5. Can hickeys leave permanent marks?

It’s rare. Persistent strong suction or repeated marks in the same area could slightly discolor the skin, so let your skin recover fully between sessions.

A More Natural Ending

Giving a hickey is as much about fun and flirtation as it is about technique. Pay attention to your partner’s comfort, be playful, and enjoy the moment together. And if you end up with a visible mark, don’t stress — a scarf, high collar, or a touch of concealer usually does the trick. In the end, it’s all about the playful memories you share, not just the mark itself.